MemberFebruary 28, 2020 at 2:06 am
Thank you so much for sharing Sal! I can so relate to the challenges and frustrations you mention.
For example this: “This ebb and flow has continued up to this very day, where the proverbial other shoe always drops and sustaining this state as become nothing short of elusive.” – not only can I relate but reading your words is soothing/healing/wholing. I feel I’m no longer alone in this because it somehow feels like this is a hidden pain that we can finally talk about in order to bring some much needed Love to it. It’s as if the part in me that resonates with this frustration feels unseen and unheard. And feeling unseen and unheard in and of itself is painful to the heart and soul.
Which brings me to this: “looking around wondering what’s so great about life, even and especially when nothing brings you joy” – I know!!! It is SO hard to see/believe in joy with regard to the known world. And especially when the joy is derived from more subtle things like finally feeling Freedom in areas where there hasn’t been any freedom before. And how to create that!? How to move in the direction of fear without knowing that/if freedom from fear is what awaits.
A big thank you @marym for bringing the focus to the throat because that is the area for me where I experienced the most oppression in my life.
It’s the most vulnerable aspect in me and to express this part of self feels at times impossible due to the overwhelming amount of distortion and illusion in this world. How to speak my Truth in a world where Truth has been suppressed for so long and under so many layers. It would be the most fulfilling to bring that capacity of expressing Truth to the surface but not if there is any sense of having to fight or defend myself. First the guard needs to drop. This vulnerable, child-like aspect is meant to be the Author but it had learned to fear author-ity and therefore is afraid of becoming an author-ity. How to do something when the feeling that motivates me to do this only emerges after I have done it. (?!!?!)
And YES!!! to this Sal @sfrank: “just to feel infinite curiosity about something, anything and I’d joyfully head that way with reckless abandon” – if that something would just become visible and there would be no stopping me. ☀️💞